But the truth is, I was just really depressed for a good share of the summer. I foolishly let a couple of interpersonal situations throw me off guard and get the best of me and just...spiraled out. I quit my job on a whim--it was a toxic work environment though, I must say--without having anything lined up, and was unemployed for over a month with no savings and no plan.
As I've mentioned in this amazing post/discussion thread found on This Time This Space, it is so everloving difficult to see depression while in the midst of it, and I am particularly talented at hiding it from myself and most others.
A chance encounter turned into a thoughtful friendship. This person and our friendship has and continues to inspire me to explore my personal space rather than simply wallow in it, be unapologetically true to my needs, trust in letting go, and believe in my own abilities of manifestation. Before it sounds like I again am putting too much stock outside of myself, sometimes we all need a catalyst to start our own chain reaction. I'm definitely rolling my own ball--*
So...yes, I'm back. I'm feeling a little bit...exposed...for sharing all of this, but it feels good to be honest and open.
3 comments:
Jen,
Have you read "Eat, Pray, Love"? If not, your last post reminding me a lot of basically the entire book. Just how to deal with emotions/situations/etc internally. Let yourself feel those emotions, 'wallow' in them if you may. Discover them, search around, feel them out.
Very honest post! So scary to put yourself out there sometimes like that. Only makes you a bit stronger each time.
Hope today is going well!!
sweetsandsweats.wordpress.com
It took a lot courage to write this post. I really admire you for it, and I think there will others who feel the same. I am also glad to see you back. You may have been gone but not forgotten. :)
You might be surprised how many go through what you've been through...at least at some point in their lives. We all do. It's just a matter of whether people acknowledge it or not, or whether they even recognize it or not, or whether they stuff it down and numb it and never return. I think you are very strong.
Going through something like this does not mean we are weak, or less than; it only means we are human.
This was real, honest and courageous post. I applaud you. And am sending you a hug. Robin :)
Lovely writing. BLOG MOAR!!!
:)
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