A couple of recipes--*

My new job allows me the creativity to put my own recipes out there, so I've been working on some development and wanted to share a couple that I'm particularly proud of:
(keep in mind that you might want to scale down a bit or have leftovers for a while...)

Sunshine Chicken Salad
10 lbs. grilled chicken breast
1.5 lbs. carrot julienne
2 red pepper, 1/4 in. dice
2 yellow pepper, julienne
1 lb. red onion, 1/4 in. dice
1 bunch cilantro, coarse chop
zest and juice of three limes
2 inch chunk of fresh ginger, grated
salt and pepper
-----------------------------
dressing:
1/3 c. honey
1 can coconut milk
1 cup fresh orange juice

I think next time I might double the quantity of dressing and let the grilled chicken sit in it to suck up the acid and moisture, then dress the whole salad with the remaining dressing. If I did this, I would hold off on the cilantro and add that before dressing and serving. Also, sliced almonds would probably be nice in this. If you try it, let me know what you think.


Orange-Rosemary Nutted Pilaf
(I don't have great measurements for this one, I just threw it together...)
Wild rice blend (I used Lundmans)
quinoa (about 3/4 of the cooked quantity of the rice blend)
asparagus
fennel
red onion julienne
portabello mushrooms, sliced
dried cranberries
toasted, sliced almonds
toasted, chopped pistachios
------------------------
orange juice
orange zest
fresh rosemary, chopped
olive oil
honey

I roasted the asparagus, fennel, onion, and mushrooms and added to the cooked rice and quinoa (*note: rinse your rice before cooking it to avoid starchy mess)...added cranberries and nuts, dressed with the orange juice-rosemary-oil-honey dressing. I think it was about 1 cup oil, 1/4 cup honey, 3 oranges zested, 3 tablespoons finely chopped rosemary. Play around with it; it's a very forgiving recipe and the proportions should be more to taste than anything else. Salt and pepper, of course.

I'll edit the post if I can figure out the exact proportions on these, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy!

...songs I'm digging tonight--*

So...looking at the lyrics, there COULD be an argument for a theme going on here, but really I just like the sounds--some great melodies and fun arrangements--enjoy!

Ben Folds featuring Regina Spektor - You Don't Know Me
excerpt:
You could have just propped me up on the table like a mannequin
Or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me)
Any face that you wanted me To be seen.
We're Damned by the existential moment where
We saw the couple in the coma and
It was we were the cliché,
But we carried on anyway.

Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher
excerpt:
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
I miss the sound of your voice
Loudest thing in my head
And I ache to remember
All the violent, sweet
Perfect words that you said

Madeleine Peyroux - I'm Alright
excerpt:
I asked the boy for a few kind words
He gave me a novel instead
But I'm all right
I'm all right

Colbie Caillat - Magic
excerpt:
You've got magic inside your finger tips
Its leaking out all over my skin
Everytime that I get close to you
Your making me weak with the way you
Look through those eyes

Dave Matthews - Grace is Gone
excerpt:
One drink to remember,
And another to forget.
How could I ever dream to find a love like this again?
One drink to remember, another to forget...

Now that you've read through, don't think that I'm making some comment on my "love life" or anything...

And...we're back!

I think it's been almost two months since I've even been to Blogger...I'd like to say that I was busy doing crazy, exotic, and amazing things or studying language abroad or even taking an experimental vow of silence...

But the truth is, I was just really depressed for a good share of the summer. I foolishly let a couple of interpersonal situations throw me off guard and get the best of me and just...spiraled out. I quit my job on a whim--it was a toxic work environment though, I must say--without having anything lined up, and was unemployed for over a month with no savings and no plan.

As I've mentioned in this amazing post/discussion thread found on This Time This Space, it is so everloving difficult to see depression while in the midst of it, and I am particularly talented at hiding it from myself and most others.

A chance encounter turned into a thoughtful friendship. This person and our friendship has and continues to inspire me to explore my personal space rather than simply wallow in it, be unapologetically true to my needs, trust in letting go, and believe in my own abilities of manifestation. Before it sounds like I again am putting too much stock outside of myself, sometimes we all need a catalyst to start our own chain reaction. I'm definitely rolling my own ball--*

So...yes, I'm back. I'm feeling a little bit...exposed...for sharing all of this, but it feels good to be honest and open.

Update: When I re-read this, I am struck by how bizarre a concept that it's taken me two months to return to the mental state in which I started. True, I do feel more sincerely grounded than before things started sliding downhill, but I'm now piecing back together the interests, hobbies, and research subjects that I "used to enjoy". I feel like Gandolf in Lord of the Rings: "Gandolf the Grey...that is what they used to call me!" I feel almost as though I am recovering from a coma.

The day I woke up deciding to let go and take life back, I interviewed and was hired for an amazing new job that will be challenging, personally fulfilling, and mentally stimulating.

~thank you~

"We're getting there" - or - I really don't know love at all, but I know I could drink a case of you--*

There are a couple of things I keep reminding myself: that everyone has something that I won't like, and that each new relationship or friendship requires to succeed the trust that events and feelings that remind us of older, bad experiences in the past are not necessarily a harbinger of doom this time.

A certain point exists for us where the way we look at love is no longer the same. For some of us, a horrible experience triggers us to look at the other side. For others, it is a beautiful life of light and openness. For still others, a chance meeting and whirlwind weekend romance with no future reminds us of what we deserve to receive.

Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.

Paolo Coelho

There will always be something about every person that I don't like.
Simple?

Is it always the same quality(s) or trait(s) that become(s) an issue? Or are certain things acceptable in some and intolerable in other relationships? When does one situation or issue become a 'dealbreaker' and when does a person or relationship become a throwaway? What is it that makes One person special enough to work through and wait for understanding?

I laugh at myself when I realize that I handle my relationships with humans is diametrically opposite to my relationships with horses. If a mare throws me to the ground, I won't hesitate to keep working with her and work through the issues to create growth, strength as a team, and understanding...it would never occur to me to never again handle a bay Thoroughbred mare under any circumstances.

I used to be a person who always welcomed love and never saw the shadows. It's only recently that something clicked and I've seen different sides of love, different hues of light, and myself. Because I'm more comfortable with me, I find myself calm where always in the past I would be a hellcat, wasting energy and missing the point.

With a different point of view in mind, the only way we can really know anything is when there are no dealbreakers, but only 'things that are part of you'.


Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell (2000)

Other days I just laugh all day, because that's what crazy people do.

I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter...

Never Been to Me - Charlene

On getting caught in the rain...

I'm walking home from the coffee shop and 'surprise'--total downpour. Wearing an unfortunate choice of shirt for the change in weather, I decide the only thing to do is walk confidently down the street, head up, as if it were a gorgeous sunny day. I am not the only person caught in the rain this morning, but my fellow pedestrians are sour-faced and hunched over. People actually look at me like I might be crazy for seeming to enjoy the morning nonetheless!

I've been working on this concept in broader areas of my life...working with what I've got, trying not to accumulate dings in the armour, 'come what may'... Sometimes it means humming to myself when I am tempted to quit my job on the spot so I can just leave the chaos, sometimes it means being much more 'real' than usual and exposing more of myself than I'd like, but always it means shoulders back and head held high through it all.

Florida Gopher Tortoise, our vulnerable friend

The Florida Gopher Tortoise, Gopherus polyphemus, is listed as 'vulnerable' by the Threatened and Endangered Species System. Recently, on an extended trip to Southwest Florida, I became acquainted with these stoic, marvelous animals.

Often you will see the adult members of the species out for a stroll on a sun-baked country road, and untold numbers of times I stopped my car on my way to my friend's horse farm to redirect a tortoise to a safer side of the road. This particular shelled friend had an affinity for one of the grooming stations at my friend's horse farm. On more than one occasion I would be working at the station when he would come over to say 'Hi!'

(That's him waving hello...subtle, isn't it?)

Though a herbivorous species, the extreme irritation displayed by the Florida Gopher Tortoise when you try to pick them up and move them to safety can be intimidating. They hiss loudly and blow frothy bubbles. Unless it is of paramount importance to move a tortoise, it's probably best to let them leave on their own.

Several factors contribute to the vulnerable status of these animals -- aside from human predation and carelessness, many animal predators exist: raccoons, armadillos, skunks, snakes, dogs (though we should probably class dogs as human carelessness), and fire ants. Human incidences include road mortality and construction site bulldozing in habitat areas. It is illegal to move a gopher tortoise from its habitat, but faced with burrowing tortoises in a home foundation, many homeowners resort to moving their underground neighbors in the middle of the night to what they deem may be a suitable new home.

We look to the future for these and many, many other animals on the list.

I have kept the text here simple in hopes that interested readers will look into the plight of the Florida Gopher Tortoise on their own, so here I am including some resources: The Gopher Tortoise Council, The Gopher Tortoise Organization, and an excellent article on the management of the Gopher Tortoise habitat on private property.